A.     Borderline

 Traits:

 1. Extremely needy

2. Genuine Inconsistency in all areas of functioning

3. Emotional labiality, high reactive

4. Self-Destructive

5. Idealize relationships, Unrealistic Expectations

6. Seek instant, new relationships

Tips to Manage:

 1. Be matter-of-fact, set realistic goals

2. Set limits on Relationships- Firm boundaries

3. Don’t overreact, don’t allow staff overreaction

4. Advise against new relationships

5. Expect inconsistency, provide stability 

B.     Antisocial

 Traits:

 1. Self-Centered, Seek self-satisfaction

2. Little regard for others needs or feelings

3. Lack of respect for ethics or values

4. Charming & Manipulative

5. Lack Conscience

6. Non- Cooperation

 Tips to Manage:

 1. Expect a lack of cooperation

2. Seek confirmatory date, esp. around inconsistencies

3. Set limits around lying and stick to them

4. Emphasize cooperation & their responsibility              

C.     Histrionic

Traits:

1. Rely on feeling, not intellect

2. Need frequent reminders that are valued and appreciated

3. Dramatic presentations, esp. as victim

4. Exaggerate factors they feel are important

5. Use Repression & Denial to cope

6. Non-compliant with requests for Data

7. Seductive

 Tips to Manage:

 1. Acknowledge their presentation, but get facts

2. Be specific in requests & provide consistent reassurances of their ability

3. Provide attention & validation, but set limits 

D.     Intimidator - Aggressive, mean- spirited, loud, non-cooperative, discourteous, non-compromising, Self-righteous, Power- Threatening

E.      Narcissistic 

Traits:

 1. Grandiosity

2. Self-Importance

3. Sense of Entitlement

4. Need for Admiration

5. Lack of Empathy

6. Externalize Blame

7. React to defeat with Rage & Retaliation

 Tips to Manage:

 1. Minimize extent their idealized goals & expected goals can be met

2. Avoid framing the process in Win-Lose terms

3. Gain cooperation by reinforcing their character

4. Point out limitations of Family Law

5. Advise them that they are one of many clients

6. Set limits on all contacts, make no special allowance  

F.      Obsessive - Compulsive

 Traits:

 1. Over- Controlled

2. Over-use intellect, under-use feeling

3. Emotionally unexpressive

4. Rigid, inflexible thinking

5. When challenged, become defensive and paranoid

6. Tend towards self-righteous or indignant as a defense to fear & insecurity.

Tips to Manage:

1. Don’t try to increase their emotional expression

2. Redirect them away from detail by: acknowledging their diligence, clarifying your role & authority, appreciating their organizational skills,

point out the opposing party’s views as different & legally applicable.

3. Be firm, but respectful, in reminding them that you are the expert. 

G.     Schizoid / Introverted

 Traits:

 1. Emotionally removed & distant

2. Quiet, restricted lifestyle

3. Extreme dependent, avoidant & passive (Introvert)

4. “Odd” pattern of thoughts & mannerisms (schizoid)

5. Underdeveloped emotional & social skills

Tips to Manage:

1. Be prepared to move slowly

2. Need direction & leadership

3. Give plenty of time to gather info

4. Give reminders

5. Be active, assertive & friendly

H.     Dependent

 Traits

 1. Passive & Submissive

2. Divorce= Abandonment & Rejection

3. Extremely Indecisive

4. Approval seeking, conflict avoidant

5. Often presently depressed

6. Cannot complete tasks, independently

 Tips to Manage:

 1. Take authorative role, direct role

2. Encourage assertiveness, don’t expect it

3. Check their understanding of all directions

4. Encourage participation in their case

5. Expect Passive-Aggressive behavior: lateness, non-compliance

6. Set definite limits on appointment times & follow through on all agreements

7. Be a firm, but nurturing Parent 

I.        Paranoid

 Traits:

 1. Intrinsically suspicious

2. Scrutinize everything for exploitive or deceptive motive

3. Conspiracy theories re: the divorce

4. Hypersensitive to other’s attitudes

5. Dislike self-disclosure

6. Dislike surprises

 Tips to Manage:

 1. Help sort kernels of truth from exaggerations

2. Acknowledge healthy caution and suspicion

3. Be hones in your reaction to their conclusions and reasoning

4. Underscore importance of sharing information

5. Take your time developing trust

6. Admit mistakes and keep accurate records

7. Summarize each interview for mutual understanding

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